More and more I begin to realise the true value of that boy as a friend.

The past two weeks have been murder. I suppose to some it may seem like I am overreacting to something or being a drama queen cus I was recently accused of that.

But you know what...when I have problems they are very real to me. So even tho I would need someone to tell me "Mel come on now snap back to reality things are hardly that bad" I also need someone that I can let it out to. Then again who the hell are you to tell me my problems mean nothing?

Anyway as I was saying the past weeks have been really trying. Home is as tense as ever with me trying my best to keep out of everyone's way. I'm in my room most of the time and I never come to the phone anymore cus I just don;t want to see or hear anyone. I was just in shut down mode...and you know what....I didn't have a soul to talk to. The way I see it other ppl have their problems and it isn;t fair for me to unload on them cus the state I was in I would not have been able to reciprocate. And so I became a mole. lol so to speak.

That's where he comes in.(and "he" is not a potential anything lemme just state that now before Kerry bong on pun me lol) I avoid this boy calls for weeks cus I just could not handle the talking. you when you just need to be alone? I needed to really think about what was going on with my life...from work....lol...to school....to the things that were being said about me behind my back by my family and ppl I considered my friends. It affected me pretty badly to be honest...I haven't been eating, I'm as pale as ever (lol that was for Daana) and I have these headaches that won't go away. Doan worry gonna go to the doctor about it....

He made me let it out tho....

One thing I keep asking myself is why do I allow ppl to hurt me...it's not to say that I am a wimp but truth be told I am very sensitive..overly sensitive sometimes...I've been trying for years to toughen up....it;s not to say that I burst into tears when something happens but I do take things on more than I need to. Like I said I am trying to be less sensitive ....but then when I do get cold I hear I am unmannerly etc...lol..there really is no pleasing anyone.....

I'm still very confused....I think I'm going to be confused for awhile.

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Went and saw Leon and Norma's lil boy yesterday and he is just darling. ^__^ 7 pounds and some!! He didn't get that from his poppa that's for sure. Well baby Andre is coming home today. I was gonna try to post a pic of the lil munchkin...I dunno we'll see how that goes...

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I am craving a burger from Bubba's.