A Massive Headache....

...and a zit. Lovely combo really. Why do I always get a zit in the exact same spot at that precise time of the month I will never know. It's just so irritating!

Anyways...

So today I went by this dvd store that I discovered one day while in town...this was since last year mind you....and I was extremely chuffed to see they had several Xena season dvds there. Before I continue let me just say screw all o y'all that got talk fuh me. I happen to LOVE Xena. Yes it's incredibly immature but what! We all have our guilty pleasures and that yodellin, leather-clad, dynamic heroine is mine! Ha!

As I was saying...so yeah this place had the season dvds and on many occasions I would go in there and just observe the box sets wishing I had the money to buy them so I could park myself in front of my tv and relive my teenage years when Xena was still cool. I even had a chakrum. I also had a He-man sword but that's another story.

Why do I keep going off point?? Cha! YES! So I used to visit the store to check out what new stuff they had but my gaze always found it's way back to those season dvds.

Well! I finally got the money to purchase the things and I headed over the store today bubbling with excitment over the fact that SOON!....Xena would be mine!

.....believe de stinkin man sell all the box sets? Not ONE ain left like france!!! *weeps at the inhumanity*

I'm not surprised...I mean I toyed with the idea of buying it for too long so it's only natural someone else would come along and snap old Lucy Lawless up. This has taught me not to lag! Next time I see something I want I'm taking it the SAME TIME!!And I want to encourage YOU my fellow bloggers to do the same!! To hell with caution!! Carpe diem!! Or in this case cease the dvd!!! YES!!!

....I hope when I go back tomorrow for that Devil Wears Prada dvd that it's still there. :$

Again with the blog template....oye!

I can't seem to find one that I like! Well this current one seems ok I think. Maybe this will be the last of it.

Nothing new to report this week....

Oh wait I lie! For about 2 or 3 months now I've noticed this black car parked alongside Scotia Bank at the bottom of Broad Street. This thing had endless parking tickets and was beginning to look a bit worse for the wear. So like I said I've been walking past this thing every morning and evening for the better part of 3 years and it's clearly never moved! And each day more parking tickets are appearing and the paint job is peeling. One day I notice that now the front tyre on the driver's side is flat.

So of course now I'm thinking "Damn the person that owns this car is dead. And instead of putting fresh new tickets on the window EVERY day, y don't the police try to find out who owns it? Weird!

Anyway I said all that to say that the other morning I realised the car was gone. I'm a little said. I was beginning to enjoy passing it every morning and imagining all sorts of scenarios that led to it being stranded there. Maybe the person wasn't dead. They were kidnapped and being held for ransom.....it was all very primetime tv scenarios where everything worked out in the end so don't hold it against me that I said I enjoyed it.


You ever realise that when you get SUPER excited about something it does one of two things? It either (a) Doesn't turn out as well as you thought it would be or worse (b) Doesn't happen at all.

Well (b) happened to me ALL last weekend and man was I upset, hurt....hopes dashed cruelly upon the jagged, waiting rocks just outside the cavern that is my life. *sigh*

All in all I realise it was for the best. Still sucks I didn't get what I want but then it wouldn't be life would it. Just gotta roll with the punches. So that's what I'm doing! I'm rolling dammit....and rolling...and rolling...roll...roll...

Sooooo disappointed tho. :(

Happy Birthday to MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

New Year, New....what?

First of all Happy New Year to everyone!!! (seems to be the thing to say over the past couple days ^__^ )


I haven't been blogging much lately because I've been doing a lot of thinking about myself and the people around me. Honestly I wish I could stop overthinking sometimes because it would give me that much more time to LIVE. And I don't like myself when I think because I get some really mean thoughts that only exacerbate the feelings I find within myself. And who the hell really wants to be mean and coldhearted??

Truthfully speaking I don't trust many people. I wish it was something I could get over easily but I can't. I'll be honest in saying that I got myself here by shutting myself down. Logic behind that being if you don't care about anyone or let them get close then they can't hurt you right?? Well that don't work. Now it's getting kinda tough to open myself up again. So far this year I've done that with one person and that's the person I've been relying on when I get really down. However it gets kinda dangerous to rely on one person so consistently. But like I said it's tough being open with other people. For one thing I hate to appear weak and I can see that translating itself to my facial expressions. My face doesn't seem to fall into a smile that easily anymore. I wish I could be softer. I wish I could be in a room with a bunch of people and still not feel desperately alone. :s

I'm constantly looking over my shoulder because I'm sure ppl are talking about me behind my back. You know...the ones you thought were your friends? Jesus the paranoia is killing me. Or who knows....maybe it's not paranoia :) Trust issues again. That ugly beast keeps raising its head.

Anyway I'm working on it. It won't be easy but I'm working on it.

Things are looking really different this year. I had a really tough spiritual battle earlier this week that really shook me up and made me realise what a dangerous path I was heading down. And for the sake of my spiritual and mental health I need to get moving and fast.

Enough rants from me. Time to be the change I want to see.