The Intervention pt 2

*eyeroll* just the second instalment in this series. It wasn't about the vegetarian thing this time tho...this time...it was about porn.

Look at wunna sitting up in anticipation wunna malicious heffas LOL. Neways on with our story.

So our herione rolls into the house having been soaked for the second time that night and feeling extremely pissed since her mother refused to send said heroine's father to the busstop to meet her with an umbrella because ...and I quote "There's only one umbrella." Like suddenly the humongous umbrella can't shelter both of us. Nehoos I came in most annoyed and before I can tell her how horrid she was for doing that she goes "Oh I meant to tell you to just get off in Holetown and take a taxi home but it was too late by then wasn't it? " I grits teeth and replies "Yes Mother it was." Off I went to change when I heard my Dad yelling for me saying he needs to "talk with me" which really means he needs me to sit there and listen attentively while he voices his concerns about life in general and my life in particular.

So tonight's topic was porn. The convo went something like this.

Daddy: Now Melly...Esther...I don't know if you all know about this but this country is swiftly going to the dogs. The latest thing now is these new porn videos featuring people of all ages. Even people as old as 60. Isn't that sick? I hear all the guys at work talking about it.

Me: Oh yeah I've heard about that. Kinda sick fuhreal.

Daddy (looking at me perturbed): How you hear bout that?

Me: Same as you. Ppl were talking about it.

Daddy (still looking concerned): Yes...well ok. The point is it's just taken over the island. They apparently have them now on DVDS (he gives me a very truimphant look since he's always been convinced that my dvd player is of the devil and gee now I know why) and these lil school children are taking them to school and watching them on portable dvds. The guys at work buying them on the street for $10. And the thing is that ppl don;t know they are being taped! In one video this woman was telling this man that "you if this get out I gin kill you!" and the man replied "yah mean kill me wid dat!". The whole thing is very serious.

Mummy: (looking at him rather oddly) Well I heard the ppl at work talking about it too and they apparently paid 40 dollars to get a copy of one of the movies. I find that to be a real waste of money.

Me: wuh orrite den. You know what I could do with $40? them barely wasting money.

Daddy: (looking annoyed at the crosstalk) Yes well moving on. I said all this to say..(looks me right in the eye) Be careful what you are doing out there because the next thing you know your face will be on the street and ppl will be walking up to you saying "I know you!! I see you in that porn video!" And your head will hang... in shame.

Me (bursts out laughing now that she sees where this is going): Well thanks for the tip but that's never gonna happen!

Mummy: Excuse you? Wuh you saying? I raised my children a certain way and I would hope they know better than to go and find themselves in foolishness. And in ANY case why you telling Melissa all of this for? She ain foolish. Quite frankly you talking to the wrong body. You should be talking to such and such.

Daddy (looking annoyed that the wind has been taken out of his sails) Well I was just trying to warn her.

Mummy: About what?

Daddy: The dangers out there of course.

Mummy: Well clearly she already knows. So I wud think she knows to avoid them.
And from what I have heard you only find a certain type of person on those things and she isn't that kind of person unless you think otherwise.

Daddy: Well no I wud never say that! I was just warning her of the dangers...of life! (lapses into silence as we watch him disapprovingly) But honestly what IS this country coming to? Local porn industry? Good God Es, this is wuh lil Barbados come to??

...We shall end there because as usual my presence was no longer required for this part of the convo so I headed into my room to read.

I dunno which is more disturbing...the fact my father is discussing porn with people or that he thinks I am likely to end up on one and my head will "hang in shame" LOL.

Lol my Dad kills me. I dunno what to say about that whole thing. I can tell you I laughed heartily about it when I got back in my room. I love the old guy but Lord he's paranoid as hell!