I had the weirdest dream the other day. There was this guy that I hadn't spoken to in quite some time....solely cus I had written him off. Nehoos after months of ignoring the fact that he existed ...in this world and the next....I ended up having to call him because I needed something done and he was the person best suited for that task. (nothing dirty ok...gutter rats)

So I called and explained the sitch and somehow he managed to change the topic and we got onto how our lives have been going since we last spoke etc etc. Then finally I manage to switch things back to the original question and I get my answer. So as I am about to go off the phone he drops a comment and says "I hope you see that wasn't as hard as you thought it might have been. You should call more often."

I think I woke up then. Yea I know what's the point right? What struck me about the dream was two things...

One....how remarkably real it seemed. The reason I am even blogging about this is that I sat here and just now and remembered the incident but I swore to God that it actually happened. And I had to seriously check with myself about whether or not I did call the twit. Then I realised I can't remember any of his numbers regardless. How's that for disassociation Boo? You should be proud of me babes. :)

The scond thing about the dream that bugged me was his comment. About how it wasn't as hard as I make it seem. Truth is I probably do make things a lot harder than they need to be. Not just me...but ppl in general...especially when it comes to relationships.

For the longest time I've said I don't want one because I cannot be bothered. Simply cus I can't find the kind of guy I want. It was just turning out to be too much hassle. And even when I couldn't see what I wanted someone would come along and I'd say hmm hmm ok lemme see what could happen there but of course it would eventually go south.

Of course I've had countless males tell me that I DO make things hard for myself with these impossible standards I have and how I need to lower my expectations. And that I make a relationship into too much of a big deal.

Am I making things too hard for myself by wanting so much things in one person? Am I really asking for too much?

Would just settling for whatever came along actually be the better choice? Would I then be making it easier for myself? Chances are that isn't so. Because then I would be compromising what I know would make me satisfied for what I hope will make me satisfied. Then next thing ya know later down the road I realise I wasted years on someone I'm simply not compatible with. Wouldn't I have made it more difficult on myself by doing that?

I think I rather like being difficult. And I'm pleased I've made it difficult for myself. God knows it'll keep me out of trouble.

Don't people answer the phone in Antigua???

Is a tuna casserole and a tuna salad the same thing? I say nay.

It's been a weird Wednesday.